Telecommune with Nature

Written as Satire...

I can see a whole new market...you know how people go on nature retreats or go camping? They go out in the wood and, like, beat on drums and they howl at things? They drink really nasty tea, or eat burnt bread out of a filthy dutch oven...Something like that?

Well, who has the time for that today? And besides, it does mother nature more harm than good to fly out to Montana, rent a stinky SUV, and drive your cold metal tent stakes into the soft life-giving top soil. All the standard camping things are actually really terrible for the environment, cutting down trees to burn them and maybe leave live coals smoldering. Defecating in a trench and leaving the foreign bacteria there to reek havoc on the delicate ecosystem. Camping is horrible for the environment.

Introducing "Telecommune with Nature"

Just set up a tent in your living room and then log onto a website that has webcam footage and ambient microphone audio from "campsites" around the country at all the best National Parks. Additionally, friends and family can log into the same campsite so you can go camping with all your friends around the United States without ever leaving the safety of your home. Telecommuning combines the best aspects of the National Parks, video chats, and chat rooms.

“Experience” nature from the safety of your home. You have a bathroom, AC/Heating and a kitchen and the bears will have a hard time getting through your home security system. Your flimsy tent can't say that. So, logon now to Telecommune with Nature to find out how you can have all the best of the outdoors, without leaving your house or contributing to global warming.