I have to explain the below post. I had this phrase pop into my mind one morning when I woke up about 4 months ago. It was the first four lines of the following bit of poetry/prose. As I went through my morning routine it just kept going through my mind and it evolved a bit. The imageery for the first section of verse also crept in there. This all happened without much concious thought on my own behalf.
Eventually I decided I should write this down, just for the fun of it. As I was writing it down, pretty much everything else came out in one take. I sat on it for a couple months then, remembering it, went back and re-read it. I started doing some editing until I got to the point where I found I couldn't decide if certain things should be added, removed or changed. That's the point I find myself at now. SO, your job is to tell me what you think of this bit of poetry? verse? I don't know what to call it. As is typical of most things I write it is rather heavy handed, so bear that in mind as you read over it. Also, this is the first thing I've ever workshopped, so be gentle yet constructive.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
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3 comments:
You know, when I read this peice, I could feel some tears welling up in my eyes. I'm not sure why--maybe because I've seen myself trying to remain neutral, which I have found to be impossible. I feel a bit ashamed but ready to try again. Mike, I am impressed. It's quite beautiful.
i do love a good workshop, but at the moment i've got about 2 hours free, just about enough time for 9 holes. i shall return.
g
9 holes? go back to overland park in your jaguar, yuppy.
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